The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  ballardmerross on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:18 am

THE INVISIBLE BULLET DURING RUSSIAN ROULETTE
BY BALLARD MER ROSS



Russian Roulette is a potentially lethal game of chance where participants place a single round in a revolver, spin the cylindar, and pull the trigger. There are many ways to commit suicide, and the most painful way to commit suicide is to keep living, but that's leaving it up to Destiny, Fate and Chance; rather than just Chance alone. I can't remember a time when I thought that I wasn't going to get over a hard time I was going through. If I could find a way to keep the happy times lasting forever, it would make the bullet in the chamber seem less scary, but for some reason, the 1 and 6 chance of me not getting that eternal happiness, is a trigger pull away.

That's what my next interview is about. During my last visit with Mikiel a contestant of INTM's Cycle 3, I went through a journey of his childhood and I found that humans are really complex human beings and I was finding myself not judging others just based on the small meet and greets I encounter with them; but began to lust and crave the search for deep human beings in everyone around me. There are moments where you begin to unravel someone and see their complexity as a whole, but in my next interview down in TEXAS, I knew that some journey's aren't what they seem to be and become what they are.

I had my clipboard in hand and a small wind-breaker on. The day was just falling from the peak and height of it's chill and breezy February day. I walked over to a small park picnic table and looked around. The environment I was in, was calm and low. There is a sense of being in an ocean with a shark, but on land that the landscape of Texas gives you. I looked at the plains and the mild roads, and they stared back at me, watching, waiting. 15 minutes had past and finally Jonny a INTM Cycle 3 contestant arrived. He arrived alone. When I saw his car pull forward into the empty parking lot; I mentally scrambled through my prejudgements of him. What was I to expect? Was I to expect a really flamboyant teen, or a really hard and unreadable young man? Where do I go from here? Everything from the way I shake his hand to the way I introduce myself, trembled on the tips of my lips. I would soon realize I had nothing to worry about.

Jonny stepped out of his car, looked back into his car, and shut the door. As he walked towards me, I believe the nervous energy exploded and immediately I knew there was tension from both parties and it was gone, just in a subtle look. He sat down on the same end of the picnic table as me, which I took as a sign of openess, but I kept myself from being to aware, let's play naive.


BALLARD: Thanks for coming.

JONNY: Aww. Don't worry about it. I'm excited about it.

BALLARD: Good. Great. So how do you want to start the interview?

JONNY: With a bang.

BALLARD: Those are always fun. So Jonny, tell me, why are you who you are?

JONNY: I think everything that has happened to me in my life has contributed to who I am now. I'm very headstrong and that came from having to defend myself. I was shy as a kid up until my last few years of school. I'm very opinionated, but I'm care and I love. I've changed so much in my life and I don't doubt I could be someone completely different tomorrow.

BALLARD: Take me back to when you where little, what was the hardest time for you?

JONNY: Moving around so much. My mother had apartment-ADD, so we would move once every six months and it was ridiculous. You'd think that would've made me outgoing and easy to make friends. Well I always made a few friends, but I always knew it wasn't going to last long, so I never got attached to anyone. The funniest thing about it is, we moved all over Houston, sometimes I would just be moving from one school to the next one 5 miles away. I was always scared because I've had more "first day at a new school"s that most people. When I look back, I wish I could've been more friendly and actually keep in touch with a few of the childhood friends that I had.

I reflected on my own childhood. I couldn't really tell exactly how Jonny felt about moving around so much, because of the look in his eyes. He seemed gone, but aware at the same time, every word just seemed to be said rather than spoken.

BALLARD: Is there someone that you remember, but because of all the moving, you wish you would have kept in contact with, one person in particular?

JONNY: Yes there is.

BALLARD: Who?

JONNY: There was a boy named Chris I kind of new, but not really, at one of the schools it was in when I was 6.

BALLARD: Have you seen him since?

JONNY: 3 years later, we actually ended up in the same class at a different school. His dad moved around a lot, so we could relate so well that we really became great friends.

BALLARD: So you haven't seen him in almost 10 years?

JONNY: No, but if I found him on MySpace or something, it would be great to find out what he's been up to.



The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette JONNY1
Continued on the next post. If not loaded yet, please be patient.

ballardmerross

Number of posts : 686
Registration date : 2009-01-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  ballardmerross on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:21 am

Everyone has a guard, a protective barrier that keeps them from revealing all of themselves all the time. But some people have a barrier that is made out of frosty glass. They aren't necessarily trying to hide it, but they definitely want you to try a way in. I found that Jonny was one of those people. Not one that pities themselves nor fishes for compliments, but accepts curiosity.

BALLARD: When you were a child what were you afraid of?

JONNY: I never feared the boogeyman. I grew up on horror movies and loving them too much to be afraid of those things like most kids. I feared my mother most, growing up. I was never a perfect kid, but I don't think I was the burden she made me out to be.

BALLARD: Why do you feel you where a burden to her?

JONNY: Nothing I did was enough and no matter how hard I tried, I knew I'd be in trouble and I feared for my life for it. She made my life hell, and not in the way parents are supposed to.

BALLARD: What pain did you go through because of it?

JONNY: When I was 9, I felt so sick and upset and worthless because of the things she said to me, that I tried to shoot myself in the head in front of her.

I don't become shocked by most things in people's lives, but lately I haven't been interviewing the Cleaver's, so every minute during these interviews I become opened to a new world, the world where no one is perfect, and no one can predict one minute from the next. Jonny took me on a very visual journey of the time he nearly died.

JONNY: The strain leading up to it was horrible. Depression is exhausting. You get tired and you just don't want to do anything... ever. I started picturing what it would be like to do things. Like waiting for the bus in the morning, one day I wondered what it would be like if I just jumped in front of it before it started to stop. Or finding one of my mother's prescriptions. I wondered if taking them(I didn't know what they were for) would just make me fall asleep and not wake up. The thoughts were horrible and I hated them, but they seemed so easy and simple and I couldn't stop them. My cousin was living with us for awhile and showed me that he'd found a gun in my mom's room.

I could start to seen the pain in his eyes, he wasn't crying nor was his face in pain, but an energy jumped from him and it allowed me to invest my own emotions in his story.

JONNY: Well the night I decided it had been a bad one. My daily chores were to do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, vacuum the whole house and Windex the windows. I was just too tired that day to do it and I got hell, and it led to my mother screaming at me about how she gives me everything I want and I was an ungrateful little shit. So I ran from the living room to her bedroom, grabbed the gun, put it to my head and then she came into the room and I told her I was done with everything and pulled the trigger. it didn't fire, so i started messing with the sides all quick like to try to "fix" it or something and make it work. The sad thing was, my mom didn't even try to stop me, she just ran from the room and called 9-1-1, like there was nothing she could do but expect me just to kill myself. When I couldn't get the gun to work, I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in. It took them about an hour to get me to open the door. Then they hauled me off to the nut house.

BALLARD: You are holding the gun to your head and you are starting at your mother, but instead of seeing a mother, you see a criminal, a reason, the reason for all your hate and aggrevation in life. CLICK! What went through your head when you pulled the trigger! What did you expect to happen.

JONNY: It all happened so fast, really I didn't know what to expect. I just wanted the end. I guess eternal blackness. I really didn't expect pain, or that if there would be, that it would be made up with by never feeling anything again. That was all I wanted. I thought giving up anything that felt good was worth it if I never had to hurt again.


The wind whistles between us, and the sun begins to fall into a new day, leaving us in a colourful dawn before the darkness. With the environment Jonny was creating with his powerful story, I couldn't help. but to feel inspired. I was soon discover by what.

BALLARD: What would that do for you? If you never had the sense of hurt. If you didn't know what that felt like.

JONNY: I thought it would be relief. To end the pain would just take everything out of my head and off my back and that I wouldn't have to deal with going insane.

BALLARD: Talk to me about checking into a mental institution.

JONNY: Checking in was exhausting. They made me strip to make sure I didn't have any weapons. They took my shoes so I couldn't hang myself with the shoelaces. They drew blood, made me talk to someone to record and get my version of what I'd done.. or tried to do. Then they made me pop some pills and go to bed. Every day I was there was a form of heaven though. My mother didn't visit the entire week, but she called a couple of times. Most days, I woke up, ate, watched TV until the "Ropes Class" person took me and some others to do that. And then we went swimming. And then ate lunch. And then spoke to a therapist. Then watched TV. Then went to bed. The therapists were poking like most do to try and get some serious reason as to why I would want to kill myself and I lied. I told them I didn't want to die and that I was just having a bad night and got confused. I didn't tell them anything about how my mother made me feel because I was afraid of having to live in a foster home and not being able to see the rest of my family anymore. Eventually they decided my depression was just a "chemical imbalance" and had nothing to do with my every day life, prescribed me Zoloft and sent me home. Everything was fine for awhile, but I think I was still depressed, even after I quit taking Zoloft. Starting my freshman year in high school, I started cutting myself and tried to make myself bleed to death quite a few times. I don't know what happened, but eventually I came to terms with how my mother was and that I couldn't end my life just because of her. After that I made an effort to get close to my friends and I guess I'm okay now. I still get down occasionally, but for the most part, I don't ever envision how easy it is to just go drive off a bridge.

BALLARD: Do you think it has made you strong the way you want to be now? Or do you think it is just an experience, but your not done learning?

JONNY: Both. I think it all made me stronger today, but I think I still have a lot to learn. I like to take on a lot of aspects and beliefs from Buddhism, so I think I will keep learning in this life and the next one. I don't think I'm anywhere near enlightenment.

BALLARD: You mentioned Buddhism, what are you spiritually?

JONNY: Agnostic, I guess. I grew up Baptist, became an atheist for a few years before deciding there was something, it was just impossible to determine which, if any, religion is the "right" one. I would go for Buddhism, but it's more of a philosophy than religion, so I think I'll follow some of it's healthy practices and still consider myself what I am.

BALLARD: After deciding there was no higher power of somesort, and being an atheist, what was it that changed your mind into believing that there is an energy out there?

JONNY: Well, become an atheist was part of my questioning religion. I was really low and depressed, turning to "God" never helped. And then I began reading up on religion and came to notice the inconsistencies is Christianity. The contradicting statements in the Bible. The way Christians twisted everything. The fact that some major war and pain and suffering was done all in the name of it. And then I read something, that to me, is so powerful. "Religion is man-made and men wrote the Bible to set moral standards and strike fear into those who don't follow it." That's when I stopped believing there was anything and that we're all just worm food in the end. Then, as time went by, I got to thinking "what if there is something? We just don't know what it is." I mean, there's no way to determine if there is anything. And I went by that for awhile, thinking there was no name for it until I discovered the term "agnostic". That was when I decided that's what I was.

BALLARD: Interesting. I want to just add one more thing. So the Gun didn't kill you, do you think that something died that day, the day you tried to commit suicide?

JONNY: If anything really died after that, it was that I actually had grown to attempt suicide, especially because of the few times I tried to do it again after that. Maybe I didn't really want to after that. I thought about it a lot, but I guess if I'd really wanted to kill myself I could've done it.

BALLARD: So nothing died that day? I'm sorry I'm just a little confused. I can understand that an experience like that can cause you to change the way you see yourself and yourself in life, but there has to be a part of you that faded away. So basically you don't think anything died, you just changed your way of thinking?

JONNY: Yeah I guess nothing died then.

Just then, we both began to grin, which then led into a small amount of laughter with a big meaning. I realized from my own personal experiences and hearing only a small portion of his childhood, that sometimes laughter and happiness is the only way to just cope with a tramatic experience. I didn't quite understand it in the past, especially Mikiel, I just figured he was hiding something, but it's not that Jonny nor Mikiel where hiding, they were living, for the first time in a long time, you don't see processed robots meant to live, you see human beings living.

Continued on next post. If not loaded please be patient.

ballardmerross

Number of posts : 686
Registration date : 2009-01-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  ballardmerross on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:23 am

BALLARD: Now let's talk about the mental institution. What was it like in there. I don't think people need to here the obvious, take us beyond that, take us to the time when you were alone, and the moment that you just stopped and look around and realized, I'm in a mental institution, what did you see?

JONNY: To be honest, they had me on pills so much, nothing hit me there. I didn't fully realize what had happened to me until I got out. I got home and a week later, I thought "Wow. I became a crazy nut-house patient." I mean, they never locked me up, put me in a straitjacket or a padded room, but I'd been in the nuthouse. Honestly, I try not to think about it.

BALLARD: You wanted freedom from the stress of your mother and the constant moving and all of the pain it caused you, but when you did get away from that, unfortunately it was in a place where you are looked at as being unstable, so you couldn't really get your freedom. How does it feel that you went from a very dark and heavy place to going very blank and now all you have is the reminants of this part in your life where you really lost all control. You were a zombie. Did you ever think it was going to end, not even for a second?

JONNY: I think I was mostly confused. I don't doubt I went a little crazy and there's not much else to remember to tell you. Only the finer, extreme points. Since then, there have never been more intense suicide attempts, but I've pretty much never thought it was all going to end since I tried to pull that trigger.

BALLARD: You said that you haven't been experiencing the intense suicide attempts, have you had any hints or relapses of your past?

JONNY: No, not really. Like I said, I've pretty much grown from it, so whenever it crosses my mind, I'm generally happy the way it turned out. It could've been much worse.

BALLARD: On a scale of 1 to 10 how happy are you, assuming 10 is the happiest you can ever be.

JONNY: 9.9 Y'know, I'm struggling, I'm worried, I'm stressed out, but at the end of the day, I know it's all going to get better.

BALLARD: So let's get to another side of your personal life, how do identify sexually?

JONNY: Homosexually. I'm pretty open about it. I knew I was gay when I was gay, but I didn't come out until I was 15. Everyone I know was pretty accepting about it.

BALLARD: Let's debate. just kinda go back and forth on this. Mind you this isn't me, just common questions or responses that people who are gay usually get. You don't think that by being gay you have a higher chance of HIV and AIDS?

JONNY: Not at all. I don't sleep around and when I do, I use a condom. I'm devoted to my boyfriend. It's quite funny that people think being gay means you're easily susceptible to HIV and AIDS, but if you look up statistics, the highest rate of HIV is in straight, African-American Women. I think part of the gay assumption is kind of a misconception built by ignorant and prejudice people. You don't see people harrassing and assuming every black woman has AIDS.

BALLARD: I think all gay people have a chemical imbalance from something at birth. So do you hate the fact that you have a chemical imbalance?

JONNY: I don't think it's a chemical imbalance. That makes it sound like a disease or deformity. I think it's just how you are. And I don't hate it. I would never want to be straight, even if I could choose it.

BALLARD: Why would you not be straight, what do you have against straight people. It's better to be straight, at least we can get married!

JONNY: I think what's better is all a matter of opinion really. I know one day I'll be able to marry the man that I love, all we need is time for tolerance.

BALLARD: So basically your blaming straight men and women because you will have to wait to marry the man you love, who is gay!?

JONNY: I'm not blaming straight people in general. I'm blaming close-minded conservative bigots who don't know the meaning of "separation of church and state." If they were really so hell-bent on preserving marriage, they would be trying to ban divorce, not loving individuals from marrying.

BALLARD: I think your a fucking liar. Your blaming two people and you know it. Your blaming good honest hard working christian men and women, because you gave up on Jesus Christ and your blaming your mother for trying to raise a little fag like you, so now you hate women! ISN'T THAT RIGHT!!!!

JONNY: Nope, sorry. You're wrong.

I stopped. I couldn't pretend to be someone I wasn't anymore. After seeing how emotionally and mentally strong Jonny was, I knew that it wasn't an act or pretending to be happy, but he was sincere.

BALLARD: WOW! Your good in situations like that. Have you been through that before?

JONNY: LOL. I've never been in those situations in person, but I've handled plenty of people over the internet like that.


Continued on next post. If not loaded please be patient.

ballardmerross

Number of posts : 686
Registration date : 2009-01-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  AdultCookies on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:30 am

what'd i say?

_________________
you look like a rabbit
AdultCookies
AdultCookies
Admin

Number of posts : 1744
Age : 29
Location : Wonderland
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile http://pankocholofresa.livejournal.com

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  ballardmerross on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:31 am

BALLARD: I was doing some research about you before our interview, and I noticed that there was a prom album in your myspace. Did you attend prom with your boyfriend?

JONNY: I did. Of course, prom was totally boring, so we went home and got drunk. My best friend was there too. It was a blast. We went to Galveston Beach the next day and soaked up the sun and waves.

BALLARD: How was it being a gay couple at Prom. I don't know if you seen QAF, if you have you know what that means, but was it similar to that, very Justin and Brian?

JONNY: I LOVE Queer as Folk! It was an awesome show. But my prom wasn't like that. People didn't stare. I introduced him to my teachers(who I was friends with) and my friends who hadn't met him and that was it. And I didn't get my head bashed in in the parking lot.

BALLARD: Talk about him. Because that's all I know about him. To me he is just him. Who is he, where is he in you? I know that sounds dirty, but I mean mentally, spiritually, blah blah blah!

JONNY: Ah, he's the sweetest guy I know. He's loving, caring, compassionate. He's very strong. We like all of the same things and we're just so comfortable together. He's always doing things for me and just being a real sweetheart. I don't know if you want anything specific, so just ask

BALLARD: And his name?

JONNY: It's Xander. He's a huge part of my life. We live together and he's supporting me through school and helping me along the way. When I get out of school and start earning some decent money, I'm going to put him through computer school.

BALLARD: How did you meet Xander?

JONNY: We had a few mutual friends who suggested we should meet because we're both obsessed with Alanis Morissette. So we traded numbers and started talking and got to know each other. 3 months later we decided to get together and we've been inseparable since.

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Jonny

BALLARD: From INTM, from each cycle who would you love have in bed?

JONNY: Well I wasn't a follower of the first cycle, so the only guy I know from that cycle is MillaJ. From Cycle 2, I would bed Jeraldo, Erik and Connan. In that order. Or at the same time.

BALLARD: Who from each cycle would you love to just punch in the face!?

JONNY: No one. I love them all...

BALLARD: All of them?

JONNY: ...yeah, even you!

We shared our laughter with one another and the sun finally reached it's new dawn. As we both walked over to the cars that brought us to this open field, we began to walk into a new found respect for each other. I knew that once I headed to my next interview, I would be leaving someone that changed my mind in a way that I would have never thought. I took one last look and this time I had no prejudgements, but I saw someone who was shot by a invisible bullet during a russian roulette game, the bullet was a symbol of reality, humanity and the feeling of being alive.

ballardmerross

Number of posts : 686
Registration date : 2009-01-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  ballardmerross on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:31 am

Thank you for reading this interview.
I dedicate the song:

HEY NOW by Augustana

to you Jonny.

ballardmerross

Number of posts : 686
Registration date : 2009-01-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  AdultCookies on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:33 am

oh sorry for commenting in the middle.

_________________
you look like a rabbit
AdultCookies
AdultCookies
Admin

Number of posts : 1744
Age : 29
Location : Wonderland
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile http://pankocholofresa.livejournal.com

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  ballardmerross on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:36 am

Nah it's cool. Too bad I can't just put it all in one, but whatever. LOL.
So you liked it, I mean did you even read it or just look for the name? bounce

ballardmerross

Number of posts : 686
Registration date : 2009-01-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Karasu on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:37 am

wow that was really good, just like mikiels Very Happy
Karasu
Karasu

Number of posts : 936
Location : Staten Island, New York
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Jonny-boy on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:38 am

Mr. Janice wrote:oh sorry for commenting in the middle.

did i mention you? O__O i don't rememberz.
Jonny-boy
Jonny-boy

Number of posts : 1303
Age : 30
Location : Beaumont, Texas, USA
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile http://www.myspace.com/standupmotherfucker

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  AdultCookies on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:39 am

i'm reading it. i'm almost done haha

_________________
you look like a rabbit
AdultCookies
AdultCookies
Admin

Number of posts : 1744
Age : 29
Location : Wonderland
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile http://pankocholofresa.livejournal.com

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Cowboy Breebop on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:46 am

When am I gonna be interviewed? Laughing

_________________
The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Pbucket
Cowboy Breebop
Cowboy Breebop
Admin

Number of posts : 859
Age : 30
Location : Grand River Tri-City, Ontario, Canaa
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  AdultCookies on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:48 am

no it's cause i said it was you, remember? and then you were all it's not me but i was all whatever.

great interview (y)

_________________
you look like a rabbit
AdultCookies
AdultCookies
Admin

Number of posts : 1744
Age : 29
Location : Wonderland
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile http://pankocholofresa.livejournal.com

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Karasu on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:48 am

I think im next, right? Suspect
Karasu
Karasu

Number of posts : 936
Location : Staten Island, New York
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  ballardmerross on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:52 am

Well I am open to interview options, you know how to reach me, lol. Have your people call my people. I would love to interview you bree, but I think it's time to give someone else a chance first, since you already kinda got an interview, wasn't my greatest, but it was your interview.

ballardmerross

Number of posts : 686
Registration date : 2009-01-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Cowboy Breebop on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:54 am

True, I just wanna come off as a dark and tortured soul now!

_________________
The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Pbucket
Cowboy Breebop
Cowboy Breebop
Admin

Number of posts : 859
Age : 30
Location : Grand River Tri-City, Ontario, Canaa
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  ballardmerross on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:55 am

Yeah, I am really starting to think all my interviews have the same kinda structure to them, so I'm not really sure, but I like doing them, they're fun.

Mad

ballardmerross

Number of posts : 686
Registration date : 2009-01-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Karasu on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:57 am

Yeah but they are all pretty much inspirational Very Happy
Karasu
Karasu

Number of posts : 936
Location : Staten Island, New York
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Jonny-boy on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:57 am

Bree-lin' in the Years wrote:True, I just wanna come off as a dark and tortured soul now!

O_O i was afraid that was how i was gonna come off.

i thought the suicide crap was only going to be a small part of it and then Ballard was like "okay, we're done" and i was like "oh shit". lol
Jonny-boy
Jonny-boy

Number of posts : 1303
Age : 30
Location : Beaumont, Texas, USA
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile http://www.myspace.com/standupmotherfucker

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  ballardmerross on Thu Feb 12, 2009 8:02 am

yeah i thought the same thing too, but i usually take everything you say and branch out from there, i don't think the suicide was the whole interview, but it was something that was commonly referenced, i think that tramatic experience helps us understand you better and it's also like said above really inspirational, but don't worry, i didn the same thing to mikiel, we were like blah blah blah cut myself, okay done!

ballardmerross

Number of posts : 686
Registration date : 2009-01-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  awkward_silences on Thu Feb 12, 2009 8:18 am

Good interview. Smile
It's diversity week at school this week, and we had a speaker today who was talking about connecting by talking about the deeper things in life, and I must say I feel like I know you better from reading this, Jonny. Smile
awkward_silences
awkward_silences

Number of posts : 171
Age : 26
Location : Yay Areaaaa, CA
Registration date : 2009-01-03

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Jonny-boy on Thu Feb 12, 2009 8:22 am

awkward_silences wrote:Good interview. Smile
It's diversity week at school this week, and we had a speaker today who was talking about connecting by talking about the deeper things in life, and I must say I feel like I know you better from reading this, Jonny. Smile

thank you! =]
Jonny-boy
Jonny-boy

Number of posts : 1303
Age : 30
Location : Beaumont, Texas, USA
Registration date : 2008-12-30

View user profile http://www.myspace.com/standupmotherfucker

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Jilpen on Thu Feb 12, 2009 10:02 am

Wow...I want an interview even though I have never done INTM and don't really plan to...I want to be asked deep questions.
Jilpen
Jilpen

Number of posts : 825
Location : LA and Chicago
Registration date : 2009-01-27

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Avess on Thu Feb 12, 2009 1:44 pm

It's reallly good but I mean
Sorry if I sound like a cunt
I just don't like when people disclose such deep and darkly personal information on places like this
I don't get why anyone would
I'd tell a person but not a whole forum

Maybe it's just me
Sorry
Avess
Avess

Number of posts : 431
Age : 30
Location : Tijuana, Mexico
Registration date : 2009-01-18

View user profile http://www.myspace.com/babytap

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  MikielJoe on Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:29 pm

I only skimmed through it so far since I'm at school and people are watching but what I've read was really interesting! My heart goes out to ya Jonny! Very Happy

PS: I knew it Razz
MikielJoe
MikielJoe

Number of posts : 933
Age : 27
Registration date : 2008-12-31

View user profile http://myspace.com/unwanted_heart

Back to top Go down

The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette Empty Re: The Invisible Bullet During Russian Roulette

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum