Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

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Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  Cowboy Breebop on Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:35 pm

*note: We've been loyal fans of the novel for about two years now.

1. Malin Ackerman's performance was laughable.
2. Jackie Earle Hailey wasn't bad as Rorschach, but the VOICE was worse than Christian Bale's in Dark Knight.
3. From about the moment when Dr. Manhattan is labelled as a cancer conductor, the movie pretty much halts all efforts to deliver a philosophical message and becomes another mindless action flick.
4. Worst. Sex scene. Ever.
5. The sex scene really deserves two reasons. (Also, Leonard Cohen would be rolling in his grave if he were dead).
6. I get that Dr. Manhattan's personality is supposed to be one-note, but instead of affecting me, all Billy Crudup's lullably of a performance did was make me want to tear my hair out.
7. The ending the Silk Spectres?? Can you say orange juice commercial from the sixties?
8. Too many blatant attempts at jokes about the "future" of America, what America stands for, etc.
9. The reveal of Ozymandias as the mastermind behind the killings was rendered anti-climactic due to Matthew Goode's lukewarm "acting."
10. Ultimately, it wasn't nearly as faithful a comic adaptation as something like Sin City. Yes, it matched some shots very nicely, but unlike Sin City, Watchmen was never about the graphics - it's got a lot of deep philosophical questions within it. The movie was already painfully long, but there was so much more they could have put in to make it a bit less than mindless.

ONE reason why I enjoyed watching it:
1. Mickey from Seinfeld

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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  Karasu on Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:13 pm

1.) Oh come on she wasnt that bad. I was expecting to see a totally wooden performance, but she was actually alright. You have to remember she was the weakest character in the book, so the actress didnt have much to work with lol

2.) His voice got better towards the end

3.) I bet people who didnt read the book wouldve been extremely bored if they didnt put so much action. I dont think there were too many action scenes.

4.)The only thing that ruined this was the song. That version did not fit at all. I thin they shouldve used a different one



I think the best part of the movie was the credits. You have to agree that those were amazing.

and as a fan of the book, i think it was a good adaptation. Its impossible to get a perfect one
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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  Cowboy Breebop on Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:21 pm

There is no such thing as a "weak part" or "weak character." Quite simply, Malin Ackerman was a weak actor, her delivery was about as convincing as your average Soap Opera actor.
The credits were pretty great, yeah, I will admit that.
I simply think the sex scene was way too long and drawn-out, completely changed the tone of the movie. Yes, the song hurt it, but the scene as a whole still affected the tonal continuity.

Overall, I don't know, 'Watchmen' was so hyped that I think people WANT so badly to like it. I love the BOOK to death, and the things I liked about the movie were all things that I could have enjoyed by just picking up my book again. I'm normally NOT the type to just try and go against hype, and diss the "popular" movie - I can admit when something's good. However, 'Watchmen' was SEVERELY underwhelming for me. Also, if anyone tries to tell you that watching it on iMax will make it better, it didn't for me. It's just a screen. Plus, iMax nauseates me. I came very close to vomming in some scenes.

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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  younevergofullretard on Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:06 pm

I'm going to be extremely annoying now and not comment anything about the film at all, but instead correct you and say that it's Malin Åkerman. But I guess it's too hard to figure out how to pronounce the Å. Twisted Evil

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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  Cowboy Breebop on Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:08 pm

I can't figure out how to make irregular characters on my lappy anyway. Embarassed I don't have a num-pad.

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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  Jilpen on Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:11 pm

ATOM SHANK
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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  LucyInTheSky_08 on Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:41 pm

the sex scene was just a bit uncomfortable and half the people in the theater were just laughing there asses off
other than that
i say it was amazing.
and they may have screwed up a few things (like...umm....the ENDING for crying out loud)
but they were very true to the graphic novel
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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  MikielJoe on Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:48 pm

lucy, i love your avatar :]
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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  LucyInTheSky_08 on Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:51 pm

zankyu ^.^
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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  WCW on Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:56 am

i know the changed the ending but it made more sense than the giant squid looking thing, and also i think that would look weird on film

i knew this was goign to happen with watch men, it was either goign to be "great true adapatation" or "horrible stupid piece of shit"

there's no middle for this movie which is weird i guess, reading the critic reviews and what not thats exactly how it is. Personally i thinkt he director cut will be alot better

you guys have to remember the black freighter wasn't int here which might of changed it a bit, and also, the original cut was like 3 plus hours long, thats why hollis's death isnt in there, they filmed it though. so it hink everyone needs to stop like saying "ZOMG is was sooooo bad" and wait for the dvd to come out

true it will still be the same movie, but we will have to see. but also im not like most movie goers so i could be talking crap, poltergeist, a really famous movie is one of my most ahted, one of the worst movies, btu peopel orgasm over it. so what ever.
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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  Cowboy Breebop on Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:31 am

I'm not going to NOT say it was bad just because I haven't seen the director's cut.
That's like saying a girl s ugly even though I haven't seen her with makeup. The movie in theatres is the one that they wanted the general public to see, thus it has to be judged.

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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  sweet_tyra_lesus on Tue Mar 10, 2009 3:13 pm

OOH I saw it the other night!!! I will contribute now-

1. AGREED. She had a few good moments, Im sure, but I cringed a fair bit at her.

2. AGREED. It was so like..."Im gonna put on this reallow husky voice to sound mysterious, dangerous and sexy, when really, im just an angry ranga" (ps- ranga= redhead in australia, rhymes with banger except we say banga lol)

3. KINDA AGREED. I dont really know though, I didnt pay too much attention to what you are talking about. Maybe the action corrupted my mind.

4 and 5. TOTALLY AGREED. Me and my friends laughed aswell, and talked about how bad it was for like 10 minutes afterwards. But yeh I secretly replayed it in my head later lawl Razz

6. AGREED. Pretty much the best thing about him was the funny blue dangling penis.

7. It was midnight by the end of the movie, so I think my memory about the end isnt the best lol.

8. AGREED. But I kind of liked that because it proves Americans arent good at being cleverly subtle lol Razz

9. AGREED. Such a denoumant. I love that word. Its almost my favourite and I use it whenever I can.

10. AGREED. I havnt actually read the comic, but I was expecting it to be more graphically similar to Sin City. The only part that was really like this was the opening credits, which, like Karasu, I LOVED nand thought was the best part of the movie

What I DONT agree with is that it was an epic fail. I really liked it still and it had soem great moments haha. But then again, I had zero expectations, good or bad.

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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  AdultCookies on Tue Mar 10, 2009 6:36 pm

sweet_tyra_lesus wrote:

8. AGREED. But I kind of liked that because it proves Americans arent good at being cleverly subtle lol Razz


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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  Cowboy Breebop on Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:30 pm

Leigh said it, I didn't. Very Happy

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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  AdultCookies on Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:28 pm

i know.
i don't see anybody talking crap about australian's and how they're the reason that demelza won...

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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  Cowboy Breebop on Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:39 pm

Because if we say something bad they'll send the kangaroos after us.

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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  AdultCookies on Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:40 pm

what about koala's?!
i'll send them a bald eagle, then.
if i can find one...

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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  Hottamaletrain on Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:45 pm

I'm always making fun of Australia. Read this if you need some material Very Happy

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090309/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_australia_kangaroo;_ylt=Ai04Uq8O.CCGHidCPPy1eX3tiBIF
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Re: Bree n' Luke's Ten Reasons Why Watchmen Was "EPIC FAIL!"

Post  AdultCookies on Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:49 pm

hahahaha

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