MEET THE MODELS!!!

That's a little much. I don't want the interviewer to pull out their wallet and throw it on the table as they're trying to run away LOL This latin interviewer asked me what country my father was from,and where he lived, and what I liked about it and what family I still had there. I ran out of material at the first question lol I just smiled and said "Es muy bonito, me gusta mi familia"

haha not all reggaeton's like that. it's supposed to be ~danceable~ .
hahaha a mi tambien me gusta mi familia.

haha I could see myself get up and start dancing to answer that question. Imagine that, the interviewer is all "OMG this kids got some moves, he's definitely an underrepresented minority. Where's the money cannon, shoot this kid full of benjamins!!" If only....

The interviewer's face said it all after I said that, it was a combination of disgust and disbelief. I don't see it that often

i don't like job interviews.
the interviewers either think i'm shy and quiet, or think i'm rude and arrogant.

That's a pretty wide spectrum. Shy and quiet is the worst though, b/c in the end people want you to be a little arrogant. What are you doing to elicit such varied reactions? Do you not answer question, or do you answer questions with other questions?

when i try to be nice and respectful, i come off as quiet.
when i try to be talkative, i come off as arrogant.
it's probably the words i use and the way i say things and my body language.

Yeah, body language does say a lot, also the tone of your voice. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've EVER been myself at an interview. You gotta come up with a persona people like and just go with that. I would never get hired/accepted for anything with my real personality, people would probably get offended lol

i have a lot of alter egos already (not crazy. i don't have a multiple personality disorder or anything) but i can't use those either.
one's me as a male stripper, one's me as the smart quiet guy, one's me as a witty asshole, and one's me as a drug addict.
they all have names.

Male stripper and drug addict?! LMAO That's awesome!!! Don't use those on interviews unless your applying for a stripper job or......hmmm... I guess you don't apply to be a drug addict lol Is the stripper named Picante Pants????!!!!

nope it's...nigel :/
hahaha
the drug addict's raul. i do that one in public when i'm bored. people look at me all O_O

Raul doesn't sound like a drug addict's name. How about Tony, Tony Montana? LOL I learned everything I needed to know about the Cuban people from Scarface

that's like stereotyping.
no raul's better. it's like "raul stop being an addict!" "raul, don't go buying anymore heroin!"
my friends have to adapt to my alter egos. i bring color to their black and white worlds.

Your friends must be quick to pick up on the subtle changes in speech/behavior LOL It's like "O he pulled out the fake syringe, he's raul now" That sounds like fun though, I'm sure it keeps things interesting!

sometimes they're the ones that start.
i've had to make people up for them.
bob, the quiet smart guy, was born after someone else came up with an alter because of a conversation we were having in a cafe.

What you need to do is come up with a "Joe EveryMan" alter ego. You can use that one at interviews, funerals, weddings, and other family outings LOL Joe likes macaroni and cheese, has 2 kids, works downtown, and always complains about his job/wife/kids

I have alter egos, but I haven't named them. My favorite is the social critic. When I go out with friends I provide running commentary related to where we are and people walking by LOL

that would kinda be bartholomew.
he's a teenage father who's just trying to make ends meet.